Once upon a time in 1980 there was a 30-year-old woman, pregnant for the first time.So filled with blissful anticipation, this determined mom-to-be set out to discover what would be best for her baby.She had no problem finding information on breast-feeding, sleeping through the night, introducing solids or the realities of cloth vs.Disposable diapers.But when she looked for what would be best for baby's brain development, she couldn't find anything in the mainstream.I was that mom.With no Internet, my research meant going back and forth to the university library, copying journal articles and distributing them to my women friends and colleagues at work - waving them in their faces, saying, "Look at this! Can you believe it?".I was stunned to find out, for instance, that the daily four hours U.S.Kids spend in front of a television prevented proper growth of crucial neural circuitry, limiting their cognitive capacities for the rest of their lives.I was amazed to also discover that the verdict on TV violence had been conclusive since 1976. violent images do contribute to aggressive behaviors, fear and desensitization to real violence.Over the years this research gave me the back up to have the backbone to make course corrections as I parented two rambunctious sons.For example, around 1985 Mr.Rogers started appearing twice a day-in the morning and in the afternoon.As a single working mother, I was so tempted to let my then 5- and 3-year-old boys visit the "neighborhood" both times.But I resisted.Their creative play was more important for their budding brains, and a once-a-day visit with Mr.R was plenty.In 1986 those "new fangled" videos meant I could actually play a full-length feature film in my own family room.Amazing! Imagine two whole hours to get work done around the house or just sit and stare into space with a cup of tea, uninterrupted.Luckily, the research prevented me from over-dosing on these "new" inventions.Back then my screen-machine temptations were nothing compared to what seduces parents in 2010. screens in SUVs; hand-held video games; videos for infants; video games for toddler, cell phones for kindergartners, numerous choices in children's programming, videos and DVDs; computers designed specifically for teens; video games in restaurants, malls, theaters and anywhere families gather.Downloads.Texting.Consider a few statistics..•According to Nielsen, more than 90 percent of U.S.Homes have televisions on an average of seven hours and 44 minutes each day.•Children ages 2 - 12 average four to five hours of television viewing each day.•By age 5, the average child enters kindergarten having watched at least 6,000 hours of TV.•Sixty-seven percent of U.S.Children under 12 have televisions in their bedrooms.•By the time kids graduate from high school, they have spent twice as much time in front of television screens as they have spent in front of teachers in classrooms.Six Modern-Day Challenges.Specifically, parents are up against six challenges unique to today's complex screen-machine world.1.Global conglomerates influence us on an unprecedented scale.Over the years multi-national companies have increased their hold on our kids.Judith Rubin, writing in a recent issue of Mothering, reminds us that "marketing professionals cross-reference, cross market and cross-pollinate products and entertainment.By intentionally blurring the distinctions between products, entertainment, school curricula and advertisements, marketers readily capitalize on young children's limited ability to differentiate between them.".In the past, media companies were not nearly as influential as they are today.Twenty-five years ago as many as 50 companies owned the majority of the media.By 2001, six companies owned and controlled global media production and dissemination.2.Community standards are being eroded through the co-opting of social institutions.We can no longer rely on the social structure around us to reiterate our values to our kids.In fact, one of our biggest challenges as parents today is that too many societal influences are corporate clones.Many public schools, for instance, beam Channel One into the classrooms.In doing so, these schools implicitly add their authority to the commercial ads for junk food and violent video games the kids see each day.Corporations seek what they can get from the people.What they give and how they give is always based on monetary profit.3.Corporations market specifically to children and their inherent vulnerabilities with the intention of undermining parental authority and responsibility.Corporations intentionally drive a wedge between the parent and child over a specified product.Parents who say, "No," and strive to set boundaries are seen as stupid and unfair.Today, the child's peer group may as well have an umbilical cord tied directly to global conglomerates, making them significant authorities in children's lives.Parents have to develop warrior spirits to become the primary authority for their own children!4.Lack of relevant information and a pattern of disinformation keep parents in a state of confusion.Corporations spend millions each day to guide our attention in specific directions - often leaving out critical information important to parents.For example, most parents I meet are unaware that the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends one hour or less a day of all screen time (including TV, video games, videos and computers) for children ages 3 - 18 and no screen time for babies and toddlers, birth to age 2.In fact, some experts think the AAP's recommendation is not strong enough.Researchers Dr.Robert Hill and Dr.Eduardo Castro, writing in Getting Rid of Ritalin. How Neurofeedback Can Successfully Treat Attention Deficit Disorder without Drugs (Hampton Roads Publishing Company, 2002), recommend no television before the age of 5.They emphasize, "We can say with confidence that excessive television, particularly in young children, causes neurological damage.TV watching causes the brain to slow down, producing a constant pattern of low-frequency brainwaves consistent with ADD behavior." Sounds radical.Yet, their points are important.Young brains are more easily conditioned by and more likely to become addicted to screen machines.5.A screen-machine culture turns mass attention to sensational and mindless content, while downplaying and often deriding analysis and other higher-level thought processes.A mechanism inside the lower part of the human brain actually causes us to look at the distorted or the weird.That means it's easier to pay attention to gratuitous violence, titillating sexuality and fast-paced action than it is to PBS, the History Channel, or the teacher in the classroom.When sensational forms of images predominate, selective attention processes - that is the brain's ability to filter out extraneous information and determine what is really important - can't develop.6.A screen-machine culture pushes a "machine-like" view of the world, treats people as objects and promotes a "quick fix" as the only way.Sitcom characters solve dilemmas in less than 30 minutes.Commercials imply an end to malaise by purchasing a new car or the demise of depression with a new color of lipstick.Drug companies visually portray people having more joy in life with the intake of a pill.Constant images of quick fixes can influence our thinking about what works best for kids.For example, variances in growth are common in all living things.The surrounding culture, though, pushes parents to panic, worry and seek quick fixes if their children don't learn to read or write or count at the "right" time.Addressing the Challenges Productively.Unfortunately, these challenges will be with as long as we live in a mass media culture.And they will probably get even more complicated as the digital revolution brings new forms of small screen technologies.As parents, though, we have lots of power to directly influence our children.In doing so, we indirectly change the society we live in.Thinking children will make wise choices.Creative kids will improve upon the current system when their turn comes.The following seven guidelines don't add too much to our to-do list.Yet, they can profoundly affect who our children become.Limit all screen time to five to seven hours weekly for children 18 and under.Children who learn how to control their screen time have time to develop their personality and know themselves better than kids whose lives have become virtual.Plus, parenting kids who can control their screen entertainment is a whole lot more fun.The challenges described above tend to dissolve when families spend more time with each other instead of with screen machines.Thinking of a weekly screen time budget works well for a lot of parents.That way there is less stress (and guilt!) when the kids zone out on occasion.The next day we can adjust with less or even no screen time.Using a weekly frame also helps youngsters understand the bigger picture of how they spend their time.Let our love guide us.The physicist Humberto Maturano reminds us that "love is the only emotion that expands intelligence" (as quoted in Presence. Human Purpose and the Field of the Future by Peter Senge, et.Al, The Society for Organizational Learning, 2003).Parental love is the constant that never changes over the years and that supports our wise choices.Our fierce love wants only the very best for our kids.Tapping into that love amid daily distractions catalyzes the energy required to parent well in this crazy culture.One effective way it to observe what we love most about our children - their great questions, the way they treat their friends or care for their pets - whatever we know to be their unique gifts.Making up a list of these can help.Then we can draw them out in daily conversations with our kids.This builds self-confidence and makes their self-respect blossom.A bonus is that when we share in this heart-energy with children, time seems to slow down and we experience a deep, truly sacred connection.Choose relevant information.Parental love can also lead to the relevant information that will have the most sustainable effects.One doesn't need a whole lot of information; rather one needs the right information that will make the important differences.The books listed on the sidebar are a great place to start.Clarify our parenting priorities.Along with love and relevant information, I think getting very clear on our identity as parents can also be very helpful in navigating those six challenges.So often, the screen-machine world puts us in the position of quickly reacting, instead of thoughtfully responding, to situations.When we take regular intervals to clarify our values - what we want for our kids and what's truly important - we are much better prepared to guide children successfully through media minefields.A list of our parenting priorities on the refrigerator or family bulletin board directs children's attention to what's truly in our hearts.How can they resist?Copyright, Gloria DeGaetano, 2010.All Rights Reserved.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Significant Changes Impacting Parenting Over the Last 30 Years - 7 Ideas to Stay Sane and Centered
Once upon a time in 1980 there was a 30-year-old woman, pregnant for the first time.So filled with blissful anticipation, this determined mom-to-be set out to discover what would be best for her baby.She had no problem finding information on breast-feeding, sleeping through the night, introducing solids or the realities of cloth vs.Disposable diapers.But when she looked for what would be best for baby's brain development, she couldn't find anything in the mainstream.I was that mom.With no Internet, my research meant going back and forth to the university library, copying journal articles and distributing them to my women friends and colleagues at work - waving them in their faces, saying, "Look at this! Can you believe it?".I was stunned to find out, for instance, that the daily four hours U.S.Kids spend in front of a television prevented proper growth of crucial neural circuitry, limiting their cognitive capacities for the rest of their lives.I was amazed to also discover that the verdict on TV violence had been conclusive since 1976. violent images do contribute to aggressive behaviors, fear and desensitization to real violence.Over the years this research gave me the back up to have the backbone to make course corrections as I parented two rambunctious sons.For example, around 1985 Mr.Rogers started appearing twice a day-in the morning and in the afternoon.As a single working mother, I was so tempted to let my then 5- and 3-year-old boys visit the "neighborhood" both times.But I resisted.Their creative play was more important for their budding brains, and a once-a-day visit with Mr.R was plenty.In 1986 those "new fangled" videos meant I could actually play a full-length feature film in my own family room.Amazing! Imagine two whole hours to get work done around the house or just sit and stare into space with a cup of tea, uninterrupted.Luckily, the research prevented me from over-dosing on these "new" inventions.Back then my screen-machine temptations were nothing compared to what seduces parents in 2010. screens in SUVs; hand-held video games; videos for infants; video games for toddler, cell phones for kindergartners, numerous choices in children's programming, videos and DVDs; computers designed specifically for teens; video games in restaurants, malls, theaters and anywhere families gather.Downloads.Texting.Consider a few statistics..•According to Nielsen, more than 90 percent of U.S.Homes have televisions on an average of seven hours and 44 minutes each day.•Children ages 2 - 12 average four to five hours of television viewing each day.•By age 5, the average child enters kindergarten having watched at least 6,000 hours of TV.•Sixty-seven percent of U.S.Children under 12 have televisions in their bedrooms.•By the time kids graduate from high school, they have spent twice as much time in front of television screens as they have spent in front of teachers in classrooms.Six Modern-Day Challenges.Specifically, parents are up against six challenges unique to today's complex screen-machine world.1.Global conglomerates influence us on an unprecedented scale.Over the years multi-national companies have increased their hold on our kids.Judith Rubin, writing in a recent issue of Mothering, reminds us that "marketing professionals cross-reference, cross market and cross-pollinate products and entertainment.By intentionally blurring the distinctions between products, entertainment, school curricula and advertisements, marketers readily capitalize on young children's limited ability to differentiate between them.".In the past, media companies were not nearly as influential as they are today.Twenty-five years ago as many as 50 companies owned the majority of the media.By 2001, six companies owned and controlled global media production and dissemination.2.Community standards are being eroded through the co-opting of social institutions.We can no longer rely on the social structure around us to reiterate our values to our kids.In fact, one of our biggest challenges as parents today is that too many societal influences are corporate clones.Many public schools, for instance, beam Channel One into the classrooms.In doing so, these schools implicitly add their authority to the commercial ads for junk food and violent video games the kids see each day.Corporations seek what they can get from the people.What they give and how they give is always based on monetary profit.3.Corporations market specifically to children and their inherent vulnerabilities with the intention of undermining parental authority and responsibility.Corporations intentionally drive a wedge between the parent and child over a specified product.Parents who say, "No," and strive to set boundaries are seen as stupid and unfair.Today, the child's peer group may as well have an umbilical cord tied directly to global conglomerates, making them significant authorities in children's lives.Parents have to develop warrior spirits to become the primary authority for their own children!4.Lack of relevant information and a pattern of disinformation keep parents in a state of confusion.Corporations spend millions each day to guide our attention in specific directions - often leaving out critical information important to parents.For example, most parents I meet are unaware that the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends one hour or less a day of all screen time (including TV, video games, videos and computers) for children ages 3 - 18 and no screen time for babies and toddlers, birth to age 2.In fact, some experts think the AAP's recommendation is not strong enough.Researchers Dr.Robert Hill and Dr.Eduardo Castro, writing in Getting Rid of Ritalin. How Neurofeedback Can Successfully Treat Attention Deficit Disorder without Drugs (Hampton Roads Publishing Company, 2002), recommend no television before the age of 5.They emphasize, "We can say with confidence that excessive television, particularly in young children, causes neurological damage.TV watching causes the brain to slow down, producing a constant pattern of low-frequency brainwaves consistent with ADD behavior." Sounds radical.Yet, their points are important.Young brains are more easily conditioned by and more likely to become addicted to screen machines.5.A screen-machine culture turns mass attention to sensational and mindless content, while downplaying and often deriding analysis and other higher-level thought processes.A mechanism inside the lower part of the human brain actually causes us to look at the distorted or the weird.That means it's easier to pay attention to gratuitous violence, titillating sexuality and fast-paced action than it is to PBS, the History Channel, or the teacher in the classroom.When sensational forms of images predominate, selective attention processes - that is the brain's ability to filter out extraneous information and determine what is really important - can't develop.6.A screen-machine culture pushes a "machine-like" view of the world, treats people as objects and promotes a "quick fix" as the only way.Sitcom characters solve dilemmas in less than 30 minutes.Commercials imply an end to malaise by purchasing a new car or the demise of depression with a new color of lipstick.Drug companies visually portray people having more joy in life with the intake of a pill.Constant images of quick fixes can influence our thinking about what works best for kids.For example, variances in growth are common in all living things.The surrounding culture, though, pushes parents to panic, worry and seek quick fixes if their children don't learn to read or write or count at the "right" time.Addressing the Challenges Productively.Unfortunately, these challenges will be with as long as we live in a mass media culture.And they will probably get even more complicated as the digital revolution brings new forms of small screen technologies.As parents, though, we have lots of power to directly influence our children.In doing so, we indirectly change the society we live in.Thinking children will make wise choices.Creative kids will improve upon the current system when their turn comes.The following seven guidelines don't add too much to our to-do list.Yet, they can profoundly affect who our children become.Limit all screen time to five to seven hours weekly for children 18 and under.Children who learn how to control their screen time have time to develop their personality and know themselves better than kids whose lives have become virtual.Plus, parenting kids who can control their screen entertainment is a whole lot more fun.The challenges described above tend to dissolve when families spend more time with each other instead of with screen machines.Thinking of a weekly screen time budget works well for a lot of parents.That way there is less stress (and guilt!) when the kids zone out on occasion.The next day we can adjust with less or even no screen time.Using a weekly frame also helps youngsters understand the bigger picture of how they spend their time.Let our love guide us.The physicist Humberto Maturano reminds us that "love is the only emotion that expands intelligence" (as quoted in Presence. Human Purpose and the Field of the Future by Peter Senge, et.Al, The Society for Organizational Learning, 2003).Parental love is the constant that never changes over the years and that supports our wise choices.Our fierce love wants only the very best for our kids.Tapping into that love amid daily distractions catalyzes the energy required to parent well in this crazy culture.One effective way it to observe what we love most about our children - their great questions, the way they treat their friends or care for their pets - whatever we know to be their unique gifts.Making up a list of these can help.Then we can draw them out in daily conversations with our kids.This builds self-confidence and makes their self-respect blossom.A bonus is that when we share in this heart-energy with children, time seems to slow down and we experience a deep, truly sacred connection.Choose relevant information.Parental love can also lead to the relevant information that will have the most sustainable effects.One doesn't need a whole lot of information; rather one needs the right information that will make the important differences.The books listed on the sidebar are a great place to start.Clarify our parenting priorities.Along with love and relevant information, I think getting very clear on our identity as parents can also be very helpful in navigating those six challenges.So often, the screen-machine world puts us in the position of quickly reacting, instead of thoughtfully responding, to situations.When we take regular intervals to clarify our values - what we want for our kids and what's truly important - we are much better prepared to guide children successfully through media minefields.A list of our parenting priorities on the refrigerator or family bulletin board directs children's attention to what's truly in our hearts.How can they resist?Copyright, Gloria DeGaetano, 2010.All Rights Reserved.
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